


Finally United

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Multiple Pairings, POV Male Character, POV Multiple, Suggestive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-21 21:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1564193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sburb never happened? What if the kids were given a chance to grow up the way they thought they would? They could finally be together without all the heartbreak and agony that came from that accursed game... or would they. John, Dave, Rose, and Jade are all growing up so fast and now they're in college together. Nothing interesting could happen here surely. Unless some unspoken realizations were to come about. Let's see how the story unfolds...~~(i went back and edited some stuff...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Time for Everything

**Author's Note:**

> My first very serious fic. And also my first Homestuck fic EVER. I hope you all enjoy and please don't be afraid to don't out flaws. I'll try to make this a weekly thing, maybe bi-monthly. (I also feel like my chapters are a bit short, give me feedback)

“Tic! Tap tap,” John typed away on the desktop computer located in the dark corner of his second floor bedroom. At three a.m. on a Saturday, it was common for him to be secluded in an almost paralyzed state at his computer screen messaging a couple of the kids whom he didn’t know physically, but held close nevertheless. John yawned. Of course he was tired, but these chats were an obligation to him. He’d stay up 24 hours straight if it meant he’d be able to spend time with the few people who actually found him mildly humorous and amusing. An amateur comedian and programmer like himself wasn’t really one to attract too many friends. A red text appeared in front of him.  
“TG: Dude if youre gonna be this entertaining you better get off your lazy Washington ass and come visit me,”  
John smirked. His Texan friend, Dave, was always so compelling, though he’d never admit that to him. He wrote back in his familiar blue writing.  
“EB: :B of course! well do all the ironic things you do and ill pretend to actually think of it as a good time, just for you.  
TG: dont give me that shit, Egbert  
TG: im serious  
TG: youre going to visit me and were going to have actual fun in the most non-ironic way possible  
EB: non-ironic? This is a joke, I know it  
EB: I do the jokes dave. When you do it its just sad, leave that to me  
TG: nah man im actually serious  
TG: I wanna hang with you in person  
TG: along with the girls  
EB: girls?  
TG: lalonde and harley? the other members of our social circle?  
EB: oh, heh, yeah  
EB: man, this is like the first time you’ve seemed genuinely interested in meeting me  
EB: so ive convinced you it’s a good idea then?  
TG: I guess you could say that  
TG: just promise bro  
TG: that ill see you for real  
EB: sure dave, I promise  
EB: wow that sounds really gay  
EB: remember im not gay dave  
TG: fuck off you know what I meant  
TG: anyway,its time for me to shut the fuck down for the night. Nom sayin’? you should shut the fuck down too  
EB: night :B”  
Closing the Pester Chum chat program John shut off his computer with a sigh of relief. Now he could finally get some sleep. Only when he had lied down already did he realize that he wasn’t tired anymore.  
“Dammit, Dave! Can’t you leave my mind for ten minutes?!” he screamed at no particular embodiment. Without Dave’s red text in front of him he found himself bound to thoughts of it instead, fucking up his sleep schedule even more. A smile crept along his face, his eyes drooping closed in his self-conscious attempt to convert thoughts into dreams. The 13th year of his life had been a fun one, which would come to an end the next day, er, today. John often felt like something was missing, something he was supposed to do 365 days ago that had great significance. He still believed he had a chance to accomplish whatever he was destined to do. What was that? Maybe he’d never find out? Maybe I’m hinting at something, maybe not. Probably not.

 

“Dude. Bro. John, get the fuck up!!”  
A smack is felt at the back of your neck. You wake with a start, looking around. The first thing to come to site is a tall, well built toned guy with a pair of darkened Ben Stiller shades just above his freckled cheeks. His white-ish, short, combed hair droops over his head. He has a laugh at your expression and unlocks the door to the car that you happened to be sleeping in, just now, with him as the driver. You are befuddled, not sure what the hell a 13 year old is doing in a car with someone who is clearly about 19.  
“John, you cool, man? We’re here,” he says getting out of the car and heading to your door to formally open it for you. What a gentleman. OH! Now you remember. You’re not 13, but 19. That handsome gentleman opening your door is Dave Strider, your best friend. That must have been one heck of a dream to have you believing you were living a day that had long already been over. This wasn’t unusual for you, but seeing as it was only the second day upon meeting Dave in person, you didn’t want to be living in the past. You step out the car trembling a bit, your legs numb from being crammed inside Dave’s Toyota Echo which he had saved up DJ money to buy since he was 13. It wasn’t the nicest car, but it would do for transporting you and your friends around for the next few years. Since you and your friends; Dave, Rose, and Jade; were all going to college in the same city you decided it’d be cheaper for you all to just rent a house together. It also helped that the Lalonde family’s large wealth was doing most of the spending.  
Oh, Rose Lalonde. What a colorful character she was. You’ve seen her in numerous pictures before. Her platinum blonde hair that was barely long enough to reach her shoulders, her familiar black lipstick and mascara, the soft gaze of her eyes despite the dark impression she gives off, and that snow white skin of hers. What was she, a vampire from those over dramatic teen movies? She sure seemed like it, Rose’s way of speech did come off like poetry. Her words often confused you, however you’ve always admired the fluid way in which she was able to deliver them. How intelligent she was, it got to you sometimes. You couldn’t help but fall for her time and time again. Well, that was a while ago. Today is a new start. No more crushes on your hot friends. That’s all they are; your friends. You’ve chosen to avoid any romantic relations with any of them. It would only harm your friendship. The Dave grabs your arm helping you stand properly before shutting the car door and heading to the trunk and hulling both of your luggages to the door of the four-bedroom, fully furnished house.  
You walk up to your new house, one big enough for a small family. That’s what you and your friends considered each other anyway. The thought makes you smile. Dave unlocks the door and turns to see your face.  
“Why the massive grin, Egbert? Oh, I get it. You can’t help, but smile at the site of my sweet ass, huh? I thought you weren’t gay. Hah! No homo my sweet ass, Egbert!” You blush a little flustered. You weren’t even looking at him! What an absurd thing to assume of a 181° guy like you. 181 because no one is completely straight do to the rotation of earth on its axis.  
“ Y-you wish, Strider!! A girl hasn’t looked at you in years; that isn’t an open invitation to go trying to get your best friend to woo you. Besides, I haven’t said ‘no homo’ in years…,” you laugh back at him. The off-put, embarrassment can be seen through his cool-kid expression.  
“Pft, like I’d actually be so desperate as to let you win me over with that dumbass, child-like charm-thing you’ve got going on,” Dave snaps back. You smile delightfully in his face while simultaneously swiping your bags from his grasp.  
“You mean this thing, Dave? I wouldn’t call it child-like. More like, a sensitive, cute boy type thing. Wouldn’t you say? You on the other hand…,” You look him up and down to find his non-existent flaws, “ You look like those guys that could get anyone they want, so girls steer clear to avoid heartbreak,” you say trying to turn his strength of being good looking into a weakness. He walks in the house and you follow keeping the same distance.  
“Good comeback. That makes me feel SO bad about myself, John. I’m very offended and don’t think I could ever forgive you for hurting my self-esteem so dramatically!” He looks at you with one of his signature cool-guy grins, but you look away rolling your eyes, trying as hard as possible not to fall for his bullshit. You drop the bags by the door and look around in awe. For a four bedroom place, this was huge; Roomy enough for all your stupid hobbies and such. You wish you’d brought your piano which you left home on the assumption the house wouldn’t have the capacity to hold it. Maybe you’ll have dad send it over another day? Maybe get a new one? Damn, that’s kind of expensive, you think. Lalonde would gladly help you pay for it though. You search the living area for places you might put a grand piano, if you were to somehow get one in here. AH! Right there, under the oddly placed balcony hanging from the high-up second floor. Playing music on early mornings to wake your friends, what fun that’d be. You smile at that no particular embodiment thing. Out the corner of your eye you see a smirking Dave, ready to give you hell.  
“Oh my GOD, Egbert! We haven’t been here ten minutes and you’re already acting like a fairy or some shit. Why’re you all smiley, bro? Furniture get your panties wet, eh? That’s some fucked up shit.” You’re appalled at his comment, yet can’t keep the grin off your face. You facepalm in an attempt to not look like a complete tool. Too bad you facepalm too hard and knock your glasses straight off your face. That was more of a self-slap than a facepalm, dipshit. Be more careful! We don’t need you being a klutz right now. You haven’t even met the girls yet. Dave shakes his head at you.  
“Damn, dude. You should calm down a bit. Wouldn’t want to mess up your face the day before you finally meet your girlfriend.”  
“Please, Dave, Rose and I are over. Just friends, nothing more.” Dave sucks his teeth.  
“Whatever, bro. More for me.” A questioning look appears on your face.  
“Dave, I didn’t know you liked Rose.”  
“Yeah, maybe because I never once said anything like that.”  
“But… you implied that you liked her…. Just now.”  
“What man? You take everything too seriously. Sheesh can’t make a joke around you. I can already tell you’re gonna be no fun. Or better yet, a whole shit load of fun. That gullibility you got goin’ on is gonna be the cornerstone of my entertainment from now on. I’m hereby thanking you in advance for helping me laugh my ass off for years to come.” You sigh, taking him for the jokester he is. No matter what he says you always know EXACTLY what he means, you mean, you ARE the prankster. Pranksters always outrank jokesters, in your description at least. This meaning he can NEVER, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS, catch you off guard.  
Moving on, you decide to go claim your quarters and settle in. You take a deep breath and sniff the room for the aroma that you’d be getting used to for the next 4 years of your life. It’s a refreshing new scent from the one of tobacco and cake batter of which you had become accustom. This house; your new home; from what you can sense has already made its imprint on you.


	2. Firsts pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and chapter one could really be seen as one chapter together. I'll try to make future chapters longer. I may upload chapter three on Sunday i hope I'm done by then

“FWOOP,” Dave flopped down on the newly placed red bed sheeting in his chosen room; the first one that came to site once you topped the winding staircase. John and he( meaning John while Dave watched) were busy making the place more homely for the last few hours; doing some light cleaning, hanging pictures, and fully stocking the high-tech fridge with room temperature apple juice, cool ranch Doritos, and gushers with the Betty Crocker label scribbled out.

He stretched out across the full-sized, memory foam mattress, yawning. Hours of driving and managing your best friend’s decoration methods sure do make a guy weary. He rubbed his eyes sleepily in attempt to adjust them to the bright light above him. Hmm…. Sleep…or not to sleep? That ‘tis the question. SCREW SLEEP! There’s no way he’d be able to live with himself if he didn’t properly break-in the new room with a photo to savor his first moments of freedom! Dave strikes a sexy “draw me like one of your French girl” pose before capturing a truly memorable moment. A sly smile appears on his face.

“Nice,” he says, admiring the digital print of himself. It was alright, but could never quite capture the true Strider essence. Either way he had t get this photo out in the open ASAP. Almost instantaneously he’s sent the picture in a mass-text to his three closest friends, John, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, and his obnoxious older brother, Bro. Along with the caption, “New pads where the cool-kid’s at”. Of course, Rose, Jade, and Bro would surly be asleep at the time, considering they’re at least 2 time zones away from the house in which Dave currently resides. And it was already pushing 12pm. That’s a bonus in Dave’s perspective, though. It’d just mean his face will be the first they see when they check their phones in the morning. Nothing like waking up to the most iconic face on the planet. They’re some lucky bastards, he thinks to himself.

Sometime during the next two days the girls were expected to arrive. They decided it’d be a good idea to let the boys break in the house before they settled in, so when they got there it’d already be like home. This was especially important in Jade’s case, seeing as she’d never left her island home in all 19 years of her life. It was the only place she had ever felt safe, and leaving it abandoned after all that time would come off as meaningless if the next place she sought residence felt completely foreign. Her grandpa would be watching over the place in her absence, however. Even if it was just his lifeless stuffed corpse standing in the basement, it gave her hope that her place of ‘birth’ would stay intact. It also helped that her dog, Bec, and his pups would be there, guarding the place in case any tom-foolery were to be afoot. Soon, any worrying the dare be left within Jade would melt away when she’s finally united with her first actual, live human family. A ferrie was picking her up to take her to the west coast of the U.S. that day. Rose would meet her in southern California, so they could make their way to the new home together .

* * *

 

You take a few more photos of yourself, sending each and every one of them to the closest life form, John in the room across and down the hall. Every so often you hear childish laughter coming from his room. It’s ridiculously adorable and you want to punch him in the balls for that. What’s he laughing at anyway? Probably some poorly written jokes online that he plans to use on you later. What a dork.

You yawn. God you’re tired. Maybe it’d be okay to rest now. All your belongings are settled in and you’ve already gotten comfortable in your new chill spot. Well… screw that. You decide to blow off sleep and write some new lyrics for a sick beat you’ve been playing with.

“How’s it feel to enter yet another new year?

Time flies fast when you only chase those spinnin’ gears

Tryin’ to get to where there’s nothing else for you to fear What I want most is to hear how you hear,

all those stories unspoken and the pain shed through hidden tears

Tell me… tell me all the things I’ve never known

If you want, I mean, we wouldn’t want your cover blown” You think for a bit. Yeah, those are defiantly some chill lyrics. Maybe a little mushy for your typical style, but you think every great artist has those moments when they need to let their concealed impassions flow free. With a little work you could make this track blend right in with all your others. You’ll have to force John listen to them when this album is complete, no matter how he objects. You can 181% GARRENTEE he’ll love this one. You were only 90% sure last time, which is most likely why it turned out that he hated it. Just like every other one of your albums. It’s like the kid has no musical taste what-so-ever. It was his loss, but what kind of friend would you be if you let him live out his life without the pleasure of having you kickass mixes violate his ear drums with acquiesce? A piss-poor friend, that’s what.

You stroke your nearly bare chin in contemplation. You’d also have to let the girls listen to your songs when you got the chance. They always seemed to really enjoy them, or at least they pretended to in order to spare your ego. That being said, their reactions to anything you play for them would be foreseen.

“Oh this is just divine, the way your words lapse around each other so rhythmically! I’m impressed!” You say in your best Rose impression. She’d most likely say that.

“This is even better than last time, Dave! If that’s even possible! O: You still haven’t written me that song you said you would though…” Jade would probably add. You knew them so well. Even so, that didn’t make them any less appealing as friends. In fact, it was a secret joy of yours that you were able to understand their personalities so fluidly. Years of practice show to have paid off. You’re glad you had the chance to spend those years with your friends. You’re nearly content with the life you’ve chosen. You’ll have to see how college goes before you’re completely sure with that… But in any way, you’re happy with where you are now. You wonder how you’re friends relate.

There are some big changes in front of them and they might not be as suited for it as you are. Well, Rose absolutely is suited, no doubt about it. That girl could withstand anything, one of your favorite things about her. Jade and John, however, aren’t as tough as they make out to be. You do admire the act though. It was a form of strength and you had to give them credit for that. But even with that act in play they would still be defenseless against the forces of depression. You take it upon yourself (and Rose if you feel like dealing with all her psychological bullshit) to make sure they remain blissful for as long as you remain in contact with them, and is possible, after that. What a stand-up guy you are.

You blink a few times to be sure. Just as you suspected, that accursed drowsy feeling has left your body. Meaning avoiding sleep now is completely un-ironic, not cool at all. There’s a knock at the door.

“Hey Dave, you awake? Because if you aren’t…. we have an electric bill now..,” John says awkwardly from behind the closed door. You face palm over that goofy smile of yours. Cut that out, you. Smiling is for lameos.

“Oh yeah, Egbert, I’m TOTALLY asleep with the light on! Hell no, I care about our planet, man. Come in,” you call out before sitting up on the bed. The door creeks a little as he enters.

“Damn, bro, you do hourly power patrols every night? I mean if you do that’s cool, but please leave me and my shit be. I work hard keeping my space in tip-top shape,” you say to him.

“Yeah, and after less than 8 hours of living here you’ve already managed to turn this room into a pig-sty,” he shakes his head in fatherly shame.

“Hey what I do with my room is my business. And I’ll have you know all of this is part of the Dave Strider Top Notch organization system. You wouldn’t have the first clue how to handle something so extravagant.”

“You’ve got me there,” he grins, showing off his buck teeth. You return the expression. “So, any reason you’re up his late?” you question, places your hands on the bed on either side of you.

“Well, I guess I’m a little too nervous to sleep, ya know? First time living on my own. It’s a lot to take in. So I thought I’d just look around the house one more time, before it becomes all familiar and loses that new-house feel. It’s a bit unnerving, all of this. And next week we’ll be going to school again and-“

“Hey, bro?” you cut him off. He gives you an innocent questioning look as if to say ‘hmm?’

“Don’t worry. It’s gonna be amazing. Me, you, and the girls, we’re gonna be living it up from now on. United at last. That new surroundings shit? Don’t let it get to you. Even if you know nothing else, you know me, and if you ever feel uncomfortable I’ll be there for you so you feel safe. I shouldn’t offer on their behalf, but I’m sure the girls would say the same thing. You’re gonna be okay,” you finish. John stands there in the doorway for a moment, obviously at a loss for words. Finally he swallows.

“Wow, Dave. That’s really comforting, thanks. But… you really didn’t need to get so sentimental. I’m just having, I don’t know, stomach butterflies is all.” You clear you throat to avoid looking stupid.

“Damn, try and loosen a guy’s nerves and he tells you to lighten up. If that’s how you want it I’ll try to keep my pep talks on the brisk side from here on out,” you respond sarcastically. John has a laugh.

“Okay, okay, sorry. I appreciate your concern for me, but I’ll be okay, really. I just need some time to adjust.”

“Alright man, I’ll let you figure out shit on your own. I can’t help but think that sounds like it’ll take a while, though, seeing as you’ve got so many irrational emotional issues.”

“I don’t have emotional issues Dave!!”

“Says the guy who repressed the memory of doodling all over his walls just to get back at his loving father.”

“You asshole, I told you I got over that a long time ago!!!”

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

“UGHHH!” He flops down on your bed. He lands on you hand. You don’t bother moving it, his weight is warming.

“who knew being born four months later than everyone else would brand you forever as the child of the group.” You laugh. He’s such a fucking dork, you love it. You adore having a childish companion to keep you company. And seeing him in person is even better than you’d even thought it’d be.

“John, why don’t we hang out tomorrow? Before the girls come I think it’d be nice to have some bro time. We can go explore the city and shit, get a feel of our home. What do you think?” He scratches the back of his head. “I don’t see why not. It’ll be fun! But I gotta get my sleep first, and so do you. If we go to bed now we can get out early and cover a lot of the city.” “Yeah, so get your Washington ass outta my room,” you push him up off the bed and he stumbles to the door.

“Night, neighbor!” he grins, almost skipping out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Such a fucking pansy. He’s your friend. He’s your best…friend.


	3. Chapter 3

A nagging beeping persists close to the ear of a tiresome, young John Egbert.  He sits up, happy to forcefully shut-up the alarm clock with a smack. It’s 9 am. It’s too early for this shit, but he does want to make the most of today, meaning he’ll have no time to dilly-dally as usual.

He wearily ascends from the soft bedding and makes his way to the bathroom; at the end the hall, to the right of his room. This is a rather wide hallway; a lot of room for foreseeable antics.

Whilst in the previously mentioned bathroom, John takes care of what you think a 19 year old would need to take care of in the bathroom first-thing in the morning.

==>Be John now. Ok.    

You inquire if your house-mate Dave is awake yet. He might be, if you take jet-lag into consideration, but then again, it wasn’t unusual for him to sleep in back when he lived to Texas.  You approach his door and knock. The door creeks open. You enter and find Dave lying across his bed, fully dressed and groomed, and jamming out to some presumably hella tunage.

You walk over to the bed and put your arms down on it, enough so he can feel the weight shift. From what you’d assume, he opens his eyes to look at you; you can’t be sure though because of those stupid shades. He grins at you then leans over to the nightstand where he places his iPhone and headphones. He sits upright and stretches.

“Finally you’re awake. C’mon, if we’re gonna spend the day together I thought we’d go out for breakfast or something. I guess brunch will do fine, though, since princess Egderp here  has to take his slow sweet time in the morning.” You’re impressed. You hadn’t thought Dave would actually take this outing seriously, yet there he was. Serious about hanging. Like what he said all those years ago ‘ you’re going to visit me and were going to have actual fun in the most non-ironic way possible’. You guess he really meant that.

“How else do you think I keep my face looking so baby smooth?” you respond, baring your admirable buck teeth.

“Oh, please! We both know you just love playing in the fucking shaving cream like a toddler in a bubble bath with his baby sitter.”

“Psh, shut up. That’s definitely not true at all. Anyway, when’d you get up?” you question.

“Didn’t sleep. I’m not used to this bed, man. It doesn’t have my scent or the proper elevation or anything. Maybe I’ll just put the mattress directly on the floor tonight.”

“Ok, that’s stupid. It’s just a bed, and in any case I don’t care, let’s just go already. You’re always getting sidetracked.”

“Hey, you’re the one that asked how I slept.”

“I never did that, but whatever, let’s gooooo!” You drag him up off the bed and out the bedroom door before you release your grip.

“Damn, bro. Tryna tear my headphones? I swear if they’re damaged you’re getting me the new ones.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever! Let’s just go! We have to make time in case we get lost or something.” He just shrugs and follows you down the stairs.

You grab your keys and meet Dave in the car, on the passenger side.

“So, brunch then? You know of anywhere?” you say to him.

“They gotta serve that shit somewhere. I thought we’d just look around.”

You nod in agreement. Dave pulls out of the driveway and heads to the innermost part of the city. It’s a little crowded, but it’s an enjoyable ride, seeing all the new surroundings and people of all different ethnicities and backgrounds. After a little while the car stops and Dave puts it in park. You look up and see you’re in a parking lot. It seems to be a shopping center.  Dave looks over at you.

“Think there’ll be a place here?” he questions.

“Most likely. We should at least check it out.” You get out of the car and scan the around. Lot’s of people with their loved ones and children and pets. Must mean this is a real family-friendly place. Not to mention it’s beautiful! A nearby restaurant catches your eye.

“Oh, Dave, look! An iHop!” You exclaim, pointing toward the establishment.

“Sweet, nice eyes, John,” Dave retorts, getting up from the car and following you toward the chill-looking breakfast place. Entering the restaurant, you see that it’s not too crowded for a famous breakfast place at 11o’clock a.m. What a stroke of luck, you won’t have to wait for a table. Dave and yourself approach the hostess and he utters a cliché ‘table for two’ which you smirk at.

You are seating in a booth, even though they’re typically reserved for parties of three or more. This excites you a tad more than it should. Dave slides onto the seat across from you. You’re staring right at his shades. Fuckin’ creep. But who could blame you? Those shades were intimidating. Who knew what expression he was keeping concealed under those things. Of course, you knew he has no bad intentions, but it’d still be nice to see his WHOLE face for once. You don’t believe you’ve ever seen his face without pair of glasses for as long as you’ve known him, in fact. Sans the brief 2 seconds when he took off those dorky anime shades to put on those lame ones you gave him for his 13th birthday (even then his eyes were closed).

A waitress comes by smiling like a ninny to hand the two of you your menus.

“It’s pretty bright in here, Dave. Don’t ya wanna take off those stupid ass shades for a moment? Give your eyes a breather from that smug irony you always insist on hiding behind.”

“John, you know good and well I can’t do that. And truthfully, I’m a little offended that you’d even thought I’d CONSIDER doing such a thing! That’s just fucking disrespectfully to me, my shades, Ben Stiller, and yourself; cause you gave me these things and knew that I’d never want to part with them!” Dave shouts across the table in a dramatic, arm-flailing manner. People at neighboring tables turn to look at your table. You shake your head at him laughing.

“Fine! I get it. Just shut up, you’re causing a scene. Geez…” you tell him ,trying to submerge your curled lips. He takes a look around at all the judging eyes and clears his throat.

“Thank you for understanding, Jonathan,” he says all mono-tone like. You smile and go to your menu.

After a few minutes the waitress returns and takes your orders. Over the next hour or so, the two of you eat and chat about how great it is to be in a new city together. You also discuss how happy you are to finally be able to meet each other after about 10 years of steady friendship. He had to be the oldest friend you had. Before you know it you’re done your meal and Dave’s paying the check handsomely.

“So, what’s next on the agenda for today?” you inquire.

“ What time is it?”

“Uh, just about 12:48, why?” you say, confused as you proceed to where the car is parked.

“I was looking into some stuff online last night and guess who’s gonna be appearing at the fucking art museum from 1 to 3:30 today?”

“Vincent Van Gogh!”

“…no, man that ain’t even funny. It’s  Joe fucking Mcnally!”

“Who?”

“God, John, do you ever listen? That sick ass photographer I was telling you about. Dude, he could seriously give me some pointers in this biz. We gotta go see him.”

“Oh yeah, photography major.  In the heat of a good time I forgot how much of a weirdo you are.”

“Hey, at least I’m good at what I do. How the hell are you gonna graduate majoring in programming when you suck harder than a Hoover at it.”

“That’s why it’s school, Dave. The professors will teach me how to do it. I’ll get better as time passes, you’ll see.”

“Yeah we’ll see alright. We’ll see you bouncing around majors like a barefoot jack rabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August.”

“Have some faith in me! I might not be as persistent as you and Rose when it comes to school, but I’ll still do okay. After all, we did get accepted to the same place.” Dave shrugs nonchalantly and just unlocks the car. You sigh and roll your eyes, hoping in the car after him.

“So anyway, do we have to go see this Mcnally guy? I thought we could do something fun! Like arcading or tasting free samples.”

“John, we are grown ass men.”

“So what! Grown men still like video games and free food.”

“That’s true, but arcades man? Aren’t we a little too xbox live for those kiddie, bullshit-ripoff places?”

“Well maybe, but I still like the satisfaction of getting to choose my prize afterwards.”

“Lame. We’re going to the museum, so protest all you want, but you can’t drive so there’s nothing you can do about it.” Dave snarls as he starts the car. So what you failed your drivers test numerous times? That didn’t mean you shouldn’t have a say in where you guys hang out! But you guess since it was Dave’s idea in the first place to hang out, and you did ask him where he wanted to go, that it was only fair that he choose. Still, you could drive if you really wanted to! Bastard…

“Whatever. Just hurry up. If he’s as cool as you say he is he’s got to have a bunch of other dumb photo-geeks who want to meet him too. And I really don’t want to wait in any lines.”

                Dave swats his arm at you as the car starts to pull out of the parking space, as if he’s going ‘Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that already.’ The two of you make a clean get away to where the art museum is, further out in the city. Traffic is in the way and you just know you’re not going to make it by one. God why’d so many people have to live in this damn state? You guys should’ve just all moved to Washington. A lot easier that way. And your dad would be even closer. You had grown not to despise him when you were 14, after you found out that your assumptions about him were far-fetched and completely irrational. Since then, you’ve never been more comfortable with him and bonded in any way a father and son could without the possibility of DSH getting involved.

                Anyways, it’s been two hours of bullshit traffic and driving when you finally arrive at the museum. The parking lot is full so it takes another 15 minutes for Dave to find a parking spot, and another 10 for you to walk from the spot back to the museum. It’s 3:14. Close enough. You follow Dave, running up the museum steps to the building. There’s a large sign at the door that reads “WELCOME MCNALLY” with a picture of the guy next to it. Some douchebag. After purchasing tickets and walking in, there’s instantly a too-long-to-ever-try line in view. The velvet rope partitions do zigzags around the room just to make space, but the unbelievable line knows no bounds.

“Dave, lets just go. We clearly won’t be able to talk to him, look at this line! Let’s go do something fun,” you try at him.

“What? No man, I didn’t drag you here in a two hour fucking car ride just to turn back. That’s some weak shit right there, I’m so disappointed in you. C’mon, maybe he’ll show sympathy and stay longer, just for us. You never know, man. This guy’s pretty swe-“ Before he can even finish, an assistant of Mcnally’s stands affront the crowd announcing, “Okay, That’s it everyone. We’re so sorry, but we have to get going now, or we’ll miss out on our other stops. Thank you all for coming!” The hoard of people grows in the volume of sighs of disappointment. Dave shake his head in disbelief.

“See, OH HELL NO, JOHN! No, I waited in fucking traffic for this asshole. He WILL speak to me.”

“Oh my gosh Dave, just ‘let it go’.” You sing.

“This is not the time to make fun of one of my favorite movies! I’ve kept my cool for this long and I don’t get so much as a fuckin’ autograph?!”

“Dave, he’s not even that famous, who cares?” he gasps at you.

“We’re going.”

“Finally.” You say, relived. Dave grabs your arm and pulls you after him and out the building. He’s heading left.

“Dave, I thought we parked the other way?”

“Hah, oh we did. We’re not leaving just yet.”

“What? Where then? And why do you sound so sinister?” He just laughs and leads you to some expensive looking car, parked in the lot, and in a revered space. He sits in front of the drivers door.

“Dave, what are you doooooing!”

“That bastard thinks he can run out on me? Oh hell naw. I’m gonna give him a nice hello and nice to meet you.” You slap a hand you your face.

“You have GOT to be kidding me. What happened to we’re grown ass men? Grown ass men don’t boycott celebrities from going home just because they want to meet them!”

“John, I just want to say hello to the man.”

“Then why do you have to block his car.”

“Because fuck you. Fuck you is why.” You groan as if in agony and walk away from the situation. He’s a pain in the ass. You’ll just wait until he’s done being a jackass and comes to his senses. While you wait you’ll just… text Rose about it.

“EB: rose.

EB: he’s being irrational again.”


End file.
